When I cook (yes, it does happen from time to time!), I like to start with a clean kitchen and I typically clean as much as I can as I go. And it irritates me if I come home and want to cook, but there are dirty dishes around...because then I feel like I need to clean everything first before I can start. I just like to have room.

And I think I feel like that with space in general. When I have a cluttered room, I don't feel like I can move forward. Recently, I feel unhappy with my environment at home. It feels stagnant. There's no forward movement. I need to find the little things I can do to change what's around me. I'm focused on cleaning this weekend. I feel like if I clean, other things will open up for me. I will feel comfortable with starting something new. I don't know what that new thing will be, but I will be ready for it.

At first, I wanted to organize my life this weekend - do some evaluating and map out some steps to get to some specific goals. But now I think that maybe I just need to start clearing things out in the house and that will help free up my mind and make things clearer for me. Right now, I feel like there are so many things I want to do and I'm having a hard time prioritizing and clarifying. It's like going through a purifying/isolating process.

I used to work in an immunological lab and one job I had was isolation. I would get a batch of animal blood that had been developed to build up antibodies to a certain antigen. So my job was to take out everything else from the blood and leave the specific antibody in there. I would filter it, concentrate it, test it to see what else needed to be removed and keep going through that process until the product was pure. Even though it was a tedious process, it was satisfying to end up with a concentrated, pure product.

And that's what I want in my life. I want to remove unnecessary, distracting things and end up with a concentrated, pure life. I've always wanted a simple life. So instead of trying to reach and build that ideal life (as if I need to obtain something new), maybe what I need is to purify what I already have. In other words, God has already given me all I need for life so I just need to remove the obstacles.

Michelangelo said that he released David from the marble block he found him in. There is one sculpture that I want to find where it looks like a man emerging from a block. I don't know if it's by Michelangelo (I think it is). But I remember first seeing that somewhere years ago and it's always stuck with me because it depicted such a strong, vibrant man emerging from a simple, ordinary, almost lifeless block.

So instead of thinking of all the changes and remodeling I want to do in the house (and my life), I will focus on clearing out what I don't need and enhancing what is already there. Somehow, that puts my mind more at ease and the task doesn't look as daunting. A good place to start.