Today I went to Carl's Jr. for a Western Bacon Cheeseburger and Fried Zucchinni w/Ranch Dressing. No wonder I'm not losing any weight! But as I was driving home, I saw The White Chocolate Grill restaurant. I heard from a guest at work that this place has good fish. I'll have to try it out sometime.


After lunch, I went to Star Nursery to look at some plants and get weed killer and some burlap to wrap the palms with.

I'm looking for plants to go in our entry way and block the windows on the side of the door. I saw a couple that might work. Jasmine and, I think, Honeysuckle. I was also thinking that maybe some rose bushes might work.

I also went to Big Lots! for the first time. It's one of Miriam's favorite stores and I've been meaning to check it out. It's not really that big...I guess the like the size of a 99 cent store. Anyway, I saw some curtain rods for a lot less than at Home Depot and Lowe's. And eventually, I want to get something like this lounge chair in my room...after I get a smaller bed and put some shelving up.

This is the first time I'm using the feature to upload video directly from my camera to this site. It's a short clip of me showing what I was cooking for dinner last week.

More "Fearless" quotes

Fearless About the Body

When we feel strong, when our bodies are healthy, we don't feel as vulnerable as when we are weak and out of shape.

In my personal experience, there is no question that it's much harder to be fearless when you're sleep deprived.

I love those quotes that support more sleep! =)

A 2005 poll by the National Sleep Foundation reports that 75% of Americans experience sleep problems.

Ultimately, true fearlessness comes from loving the body you were born with, which is inseperable from your individuality.

Miranda Spencer, a writer and editor in her late forties, told me, "I'm fully aware of my bodily imperfections, but I have an odd affection for them...I'd like to see an imporved me, but not anyone other than me."

We all come to our own version of acceptance about our bodies and our appearance. But the sooner we realize that our happiness and the meaning of our life are not by-products of how we look, the sooner we can move to fearlessness.

Mom and I had a quiet Christmas. I woke up late, but we went to breakfast down the street at the IHOP. It was crowded, but there wasn't a wait for us since a lot of people were just leaving. So I guess it worked out that we didn't get there until after 9. After we ordered, Mom told me that she realized Dad was the one who liked to celebrate the holidays and that she relied on him to push her to get things done. She said she's been using his passing as an excuse to not do anything around Christmas time, but not anymore.

We had a good talk. Last Sunday's sermon spoke to her. The pastor talked about how the angels were always reminding those they approached, "Do not be afraid!". When God enters our lives, there's often change and, in our eyes, disruption. But there's no need to be afraid. My mom knows that she's in a good position in life: no responsibilities, good health and mental condition, she can do whatever she wants. I'm leaving her two books to read. The book I just finished "On Becoming Fearless...in Love, Work and Life" and "Left to Tell - Discovering God Amidst the Rwandan Holocaust". Both about strength, courage and faith from a woman's point of view.

As a woman who hasn't depended on any man for very much or for very long (except as a kid), it comes natural for me to rely on myself and push myself through unknowns. Of course, I need other people as resources and to help me do things, but I will try my best to do most things. It's a contrast to my mom who now has to learn how to be independent after having been married for 48 years. I imagine it must be scarey. But there's a whole world out there and I'm glad to see her venturing out.

She started an aquatics class at the Multi-generational Center because one of the ladies she bowls with suggested it. So since Dec. she's been going and is already feeling stronger. Her bowling is getting better and she says her balance is better. A few months ago, she started practicing bowling with her left hand and last week she said she bowled a 140! That's better than me when I bowl right handed! I guess I'm impatient with her when I see her sitting around all day watching Korean DVD's, but she is getting out more and watching less these days. She's doing quite well for a 70-year old. She only is taking medication for high blood pressure now. And I think she'll be able to get off it with the extra exercise she's doing and if she watches what she eats.

I told her that I want to get a cat next year and she made that face, but is ok with the idea. As long as the cat doesn't go in her room. I may put in a little pet door going to the garage and put the catbox in there.

Hawaii vs. Georgia at the Sugar Bowl. My aunt and cousins are going to the game! They are hardcore fans. Even though UH did well this year, I don't hear much about them in the news here. But those HI folks bought up those tickets so quickly.

I'm doing ok with my football picks. So far, I've picked 116 wins and 114 loses (I'm trying for the Fiddle in the Middle - 50/50). Last year I won $250. I don't think it'll be as much if I get it this year.

The new LV slogan will be "Your Vegas is showing" ??...not replacing the "What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas", but just another campaign. I guess the idea behind it is bringing your experience in Vegas back to your home town. We'll see how popular that one becomes!

Okay, I can't stop myself =) This guy makes me laugh every time I watch him. I promise this will not go on forever since their project is coming to an end =( A sad day that will be. In this video, John talks about his moral principles of receiving and the names for his hypothetical puppy and other things "Stop looking at me!"



I've been thinking about getting a kitten =). Margaret from work keeps threatening to give me one for Christmas. I told her I don't want one right now, but maybe next year (and I don't mean next month!). Mom doesn't want one, but once I bring one home, she'll get used to it =). That's how we got our cats in the past - my sister just brought them home.

Hope you all enjoy your Christmas day and spend time with loved ones. I'll be working so it'll be a quiet day here.

Red Rock stay

I had a nice stay at Red Rock. I really felt like I was on vacation even though it's only 25 minutes away! Hallway to the room

Red Christmas tree in the lobby

I was looking for the Do Not Disturb sign but couldn't find it! There are buttons instead.

From my room, I could see the spa lap pool and cabanas.

More of my grays are showing...I'm looking forward to all of them coming out and going natural for a while

Some room views...

If I removed any of these items for 45 seconds, I would be charged for them

One of the first things I did when I got settled was soak in the tub. Just in time to watch Ellen! Although it's a nice feature, having that TV above the tub made me a wee bit nervous.

I don't know how they know when to come in for the turn down service, but when I got back into my room, I found a tray of stuff that included chocholate =).

I played Bingo for the first time in a casino. Chuen met me and we went in to play. I just told the lady at the counter that it was our first time and so she asked if we wanted paper or electronic device and how much we wanted to spend. So I said electronic (since it would do everything for me!) and $20. It was a little intimidating in that big room. You could tell there were people who were regulars there. I'm glad we did the electronic device. It was so easy. We just entered a code and it did the rest.

But next time I go, I think I'll try the paper. But only 6 cards at a time. The machine was handling over 20 cards at a time. But neither Chuen or I won anything =( Booooo.

I was surprised that my 2 days there I hardly spent any money. They were having a special in the cafe - Cheeseburger/fries for $2.99 and eggs, bacon, hash browns, toast for $3.99. I used my player's card points (you accumulate points when you gamble) so my meals were free - just left cash tips. I spent money on Rubios (shrimp burrito) and Ben and Jerry's (one scoop of mint chunk ice cream). I gambled - my usual penny keno machine and I stayed even.

I read, watched TV a little and really enjoyed soaking in the tub. It's a new favorite thing to do for me.

"Fearless" quotes

While I was at Border's, I picked up "On Becoming Fearless in Love, Work, and Life" by Arianna Huffington. Here are a few quotes...

To live in fear is the worst form of insult to our true selves. By having such a low regard for who we are - for our instincts and abilities and worth - we build a cage around ourselves.

Fearlessness is not the absence of fear. Rather, it's the mastery of fear.

Fearlessness is about getting up one more time than we fall down. The more comfortable we are with the possibility of falling down, the less worried we are of what people will think if and when we do, the less judgemental of ourselves we are every time we make a mistake, the more fearless we will be, and the easier our journey will become.


Fearless About the Body
...we can never really be fearless until we stop judging our looks and accept them.

Ultimately, the greatest beauty secret is to live out our passions and connect with our own spirit.

Bookstore, Massage and Spring Preserve

I think it might be impossible for me to go into a bookstore and come out without buying more than I intended. I haven't gone to a bookstore for a while and now I remember how much I like looking around. I could spend as much time in a bookstore as I can at a home improvement store. I saw this section on Manga and I couldn't believe how many books were there! If I were in Kinokuniya, I wouldn't have been so surprised, but there were 2 more sections on either side and the whole other side of the shelving full of manga!


But I got my secret santa gift...a couple of books on "how to make anyone to fall in love with you". I was looking for a book of pick-up lines, but didn't see any. I knew I should have just ordered it online. Oh well, what I got will have to do.

It's been a pretty busy week. Picking up my cousin's daughter from Harrah's after she finished with the convention for pharmacists. I dropped her friend off at the airport and then Kristi and I went to lunch. After lunch I dropped her off at the mall while mom was bowling. Mom picked her up after she finished and I was off to work.

Today I got a massage with Liz and Tahnee. It was good and I may have to make it a monthly thing. They have a pretty good rate for locals. They stayed around the spa but I had to leave because I had plans to go to the Spring Preserve with Lindsay. There are a lot of cowboys in town because of the NFR.

We walked in through the cafe (there's a Wolfgang Puck cafe there), the to the gift shop and ended up inside so we walked around some of the trails and I was thinking that we were supposed to pay admission somewhere. The first building we walked to had a sign that said "meeting in progress" so we kept walking around. Then we finally came to a building and I asked the guy how this place worked and he asked us if we got our hands stamped. I said, "No, we just wandered in and didn't see the main entrance" So he said he'd let us just look around since we were already inside =). But I guess normally, there's one admission fee to see everything - around $14 for locals and $18 for other adults. So it was a nice treat for us. Steven didn't end up coming with us, so maybe next time.

When I was getting my massage, I realized that I need more work on my forearms and hands. I really need to get back to yoga and get massages more frequently.

Went to visit a new church today and it ends up that the pastor is Randall Cunningham of football fame. I didn't realize it at first, but he did say he played for the Eagles and when I got home, I looked him up. I do remember a Cunningham that played for the Vikings and he's that guy. I enjoyed the service and so did my new friend Lindsay. My co-worker was manning the expresso machine behind the counter.

They have a little snack counter and we were talked into trying the waffles and fried chicken. I've never had that combination before! We'll be back to make use of the free coffee and donut coupon we got in our visitor gift (coffee mug w/a pen, skittles, tootsie roll and jolly rancher). It seems like this church gives the congregation a challenge every week. I felt comfortable worshipping there.

The people are friendly and we made a new friend who said he may join us when we go to the Desert Springs Preserve. I had mentioned wanting to visit there when Lindsay and I got together, and then today it came up in conversation and ends up Steven hasn't gone yet either. So I invited him to come with us on Fri.

Seems like the weekend went by so fast...=(

Helping and MJB's hair

A few weeks ago I went to church in Nor. Cal. and the guest speaker was talking about the gift of helps. He talked about when we help a prophet, we get a prophet's reward. And at the end of the sermon he challenged us to be helpers. I think this got things rolling for me.

Since coming home, I've had a few opportunities to help people. I picked up my co-worker and drove her to work because her car was sick; I met a friend of a friend who just moved into town and I'll pick her up to go to church on Sunday; and tomorrow I'll pick up a different co-worker from her mechanic's and take her to and back from work.

I guess when we tell God that we're willing to help, we should expect that He will bring opportunities our way =). These are really easy things for me to do...they don't require much sacrifice on my part, yet those on the receiving end are so appreciative. I feel I'm getting the better end of the deal. Funny how that works.

Tomorrow I get my haircut - I think I'll go for a more dramatic, shorter cut. I like Mary J. Blige's new do (have you seen her on that new commercial?). I'll see what Heather thinks...

If you haven't seen the commercial, here it is (hopefully this video will stay posted)



If I get a cut like that, I'll have to get some big ol' sunglasses and hoop earrings =).

Congrats, Phone and Trip

First of all, congrats to the Moua's on their new addition!! Baby Sydney born on the 19th (her actual due date!).



Hey Lynn, I tried to get a picture of my hair au natural growing project...you can see a little bit here, but there's a lot more underneath!

Two weeks ago, I bought an iPhone. I had stopped by the store to ask a few more questions and then went to the mall to go shopping...but the stores weren't open yet so I went back to the AT&T store and splurged on the new phone. I spent the rest of the morning setting it up before I had to go to work.

My first photo taken with it

I like it so far, but I've been nervous with it because the face is glass and if I drop it just right, it'll break =(. So today I finally got around to buying a cover for it. It's still a little scary, but I feel more at ease now.

And the back has a handy dandy place to wind up the ear piece...look they even left a hole in the back for the camera lens =)

A couple of weeks ago, I went to Nor Cal to do a jewelry show and hang out with friends. It happened to be the same week as Emily's baby dedication, so it was nice to be there for that. I've missed many celebrations since I moved away (over 10 years ago!) So it's nice to make the occasional birthday party or baby dedication =).

Here are pictures of baby Emily at the dedication lunch with dad and mom (I didn't catch them all together)

The best part about being at the airport in the morning...

I stayed with the Kanaya's while I was in Ca. D made a tower of pancakes!

And Paul was spelling words on his foot

I stayed one night at the Jow Bed and Breakfast =). Rebecca was drawing a picture of daddy.

The girls managed to get away to the Cheesecake Factory...

This is how I get my world news?! If you're interested in getting the Pakistan synopsis, while watching John eat pumpkin peeps, watch this =)

Last week, I wanted to try a new restaurant, but it wasn't open for business yet =(. But we went to another place that is decent. I had the chirashi and the rice was just ok. But the fish and tamago were good. I go there for their all-you-can-eat sushi and it's usually good.

I think I may be approaching a "productive" phase. I want to get more things done and set/accomplish more goals and dreams. Tackle fears, break down restrictions, experience greater freedom. Become more aggressive about living life fully.

I started re-reading "The Success System That Never Fails" by W. Clement Stone. From chapter 2 : Getting Ready for Tomorrow...

...emotions (like fear) are not immediately subject to reason but the are subject to action. When thoughts do not neutralize an undesireable emotion - action will

...Fatigue is not conducive to doing yur best work. Don't reduce your energy level so low that your drain your battery...Time is one of the most important ingredients in any successful formula for any human activity. Save time. Invest it wisely.

I think after reading the part about emotions being subject to action, I felt like testing that theory out. But what would be a good experiment? I fear failing in front of others; I fear being perceived as incompetent; I fear people being angry at me. As I think about what I'm afraid of, it's hard to distinguish the difference btwn things I don't like, and things I fear. What makes the difference? Is it just a matter of confidence in my ability to overcome? I don't want any pain inflicted on myself, but I don't fear it. I am a little afraid of hurting myself and not being able to work, therefore not able to pay bills. But I don't think it's a big fear because some things are just beyond our control and we deal with it if it comes.

Maybe fear and control are closely related. If I feel like I should have control over a certain area, then I'm more likely to fear my own failure. I'm responsible for this certain thing, and I will bear the consequences for not being in control. For example, maybe my thoughts are "It's my job to succeed, be competent in whatever I do, and to not make people angry at me." The weight of the responsibility and expectation causes fear of failing because I've never been aware of what the punishment or consequence will be. All I know is that "I better do it or else...", but those 3 dots are never spelled out so I assume gloom and doom.

As a kid growing up, I heard "You can do whatever you set your mind to" and "You have so much potential". I think I interpreted that as "you have capabilities, but you're doing nothing with it or about it." And the way human brains can twist things around, I probably did so that it became, "You are failing everyday until you do something spectacular and outstanding." How's that theory? Well, if that's the case, what needs to be done about it? Instead of burdening myself with the responsibility of succeeding and avoiding anger, I should feel the freedom to succeed and let go of trying to control other peoples' anger? Hmmm...I may be able to neutralize some fears by my thought process after all!

I need to let things sink in a bit.

In massage, I often go to the area that hurts and see if I can release any triggers points, knots, etc. first. If not, I go to surrounding areas and feel if there's a pull coming from there. I test the movement of muscle. Sometimes people have fine range of motion so I think it's that layer over the muscles - the fascia. So a neck pain might be caused by some restriction in the waist. Like psychology, it's not always as it seems. It takes some feeling around and testing movement in the body.

So I will think about this theory of sense of responsibility vs. freedom. Pinpointing where fear is coming from. My testing ground will be noticing what I veer away from in an attempt to control my environment so I will be "safe". And safe from what? I want to be free to give and love. But certainly, I have restrictions. Why? Haven't I been set free by Jesus to do so? In that case I fear being deceived and depleted. If I give to others indescriminately, won't I get burned? Hmmm...more underlying fears.

Okay, so I think I should start by outlining the life I want to live. And then look at what is restricting me from living that way. A postural analysis, if you will. Target the most restrictive areas and determine whether the problem is a local injury, or if it's coming from somewhere else. It may be that surrounding areas need to be released first, in order for the more obvious areas to be corrected...and stay corrected. That's often where the healing process is prolonged...the root of problems remain.

This has been a long entry, but it's been helpful in taking me through a thought process.

Pictures from the other day when I went to GVR for my massage



And my neighbor's house w/o the big tree in front. They took down that tree in 20 min. and then came back the next day to take out the trunk.

And while I was at the bank, I saw an unusual looking car so I tried to get a picture. You can't see it too good, but it's a Lotus. I'm not so good at taking pictures! =)

I was thinking about working in the backyard today, but I cut my finger with an envelope - yikes! Think paper cut, but thicker =(. It's on my index finger close to the crease of the first knuckle. Any kind of cut or damage to my hands affect my work so I'm hoping it'll be fine by tomorrow. I'm sure it will if I don't re-open the cut.

I need to call about disability insurance soon. My financial planner had said to get some and I keep putting it off. Oh, but I did sign my mom and I up for AAA memberships. Last week, her car wouldn't start and it ended up she needed a new starter. I was at work so she called our neighbor to pick her up.

Whoa, the Colts just scored! I'm rooting for the Colts against the Patriots =).

Okay, going to do laundry now.

Okay, maybe I am a nerd because I really enjoy these videos! Especially John's vlogs. Here's one and I really liked his story about the 6 year old trick-or-treater...just made me laugh. I must like fast talking. Like when West Wing was on, I liked to watch it because they had such great (and fast) dialogue.

Mom and I will go to Island Sushi for lunch today and if I remember, we'll check out Goldilock's bakery. I also want to go to the Springs Preserve...or is it Spring Reserve? Anyway, it opened up in the summer (when it was too hot to walk around) and they have plant stuff and some indoor things for kids. I'll probably call Heidi cuz we had talked about going.

We're still having nice weather here - in the low 80's today and probably dropping this week to high 70's.

Another look at my phone options - this time online. And I saw that they have a discounted rate for seniors so I told my mom she should call to switch to that plan. $29.99/mo. for 200 min. and unlimited weekends. She doesn't use her phone much so that should be enough for her. (Note: she just called and I guess I was wrong, because they didn't have it...was I just seeing things?!)

And I think I've decided to get the iPhone. It's the cheapest plan that will do the most for me. I'm hoping to be able to take more pictures and post them on my blog while I'm on the go. So even though the phone itself is around $400, I figure because of the lower monthly cost, I'll save $1,200 to $2,400 a year (compared to getting PDA or Blackberry plans). I'm mathmatically challenged - it'd be more like $120-240 in savings! It seems like even if I just get a cheaper phone, I'd still have to get a data plan ($30 to $40 more a mo.) to make use of browsing the web and email. Isn't it scary to look at our monthly phone bills on a yearly basis?! But I may end up downloading more songs or videos from iTunes with that phone. And I'm kinda excited about the new stuff that will be coming out to add to the phone's versatility. New software made especially to fit the phone, etc. Although I've been away from Apple for a while, I still like their innovation.

Okay, enough talk about phones. I was thinking of going to Arizona this weekend because I don't remember being there before. I hear that Sedona is about a 4 and a half hour drive from here. If I do go, it'll be very last minute. Just start driving and find a place to stay when I get there. It's times like these when I realize that I'm much like my dad. When we were little (I was maybe 2?) our family went to the Grand Canyon and I guess my dad didn't make any reservations so we just drove around until we found a place. My mom's more of a worrier so I'm sure she was developing an ulcer then! But I can understand her side because if I had 3 small kids in the car and was driving around an unknown place in the winter with wild bears around and nowhere to stay, I'd be uneasy too!

Maybe I'll just plan to go another time. There's stuff to do at home like cleaning the pond and backyard, taking stuff to Goodwill, cleaning my room and letting mom take me out for my birthday. I want to try the new Japanese place that used to be Koto's - they had good food, but closed =(. It was a small family owned/run restaurant. Those are hard to find out here. I think the new place is Island Sushi now. Oh, and there's a Goldilock's bakery that just opened down the street. I want to see what kind of stuff they have in there.

Our next door neighbor Martha got her big tree in front of her house cut down. She called around and she was going to be charged $800, but it ends up she knew someone who does that and I think he did it for $600? I guess she was concerned about the roots becoming a problem. It was a sad week for her. She had her dog Osa put down because he was so sick. I wish I had a picture of him. He was a very fluffy dog. I'm not sure what kind of dog...maybe a chow? I think her other dog died about a year ago.

Colleen's 50th

It was a quick, but nice trip to Ca. Mom and I drove Sun. morning and got to our family friend's house around noon. We went to Los Alamitos for lunch at Sango's - a fast food type Japanese place. And while we were there, we ran into some old friends from Cerritos! Paul and Marilyn Hatanaka. I remember first meeting them at a Cerritos Baptist Church function at the Chicken Restaurant at Knott's. They were the first adults I met at CBC that I thought were pretty cool =). I think I was either in HS or just out of HS. Marilyn was CBC's secretary for years. And I also saw Brandi Kamikawa, who I used to babysit! I guess she's married to Brian Ouchi now? They had a little girl. I'm so out of touch now. They had just gone to Barry's new church...there were some others at the table, but not sure if I knew any of them. I didn't recognize anyone else, but it's possible that I knew them when they were kids.

After lunch, we went to visit another family friend who has been bed-ridden for a while. Joji used to teach Aikido when I was taking it at the Norwalk center. I guess he doesn't have the strength on his left side so he can't get around by himself. But his mind is sharp and I guess Barry has visited him several times.

After that we went back to the Matsubara's house and we saw their sons, Darren and Guy (who I hadn't seen since Dad's memorial service). Darren also works for Jet Blue - I think the baggage dept.

Since we had to be at my sister's by 4pm, we left around 3. I dropped my mom off and parked around the corner. My sister went to lunch with a friend who was in town from Sac. Then she went shopping with Mark (her husband). When they got back to the house, she was surprised, but didn't look like she was! She opened the door, and saw her nephew and son sitting at the decorated table to the side. So when she came in, she said, "Hi".

50 candles takes a while to light!

I don't know if that's really 50 =)

Take a deeeep breath in and blow...

Whew! The fire alarm didn't go off!

Travys, Ryan, Krysta, Colleen and Mark

It turned out to be a nice party. Krysta pretty much put it all together. Colleen was impressed that they pulled it off. Krysta was telling us the story of how it happened. She said Mark told her, "Your mom's birthday is coming up and she's turning 50. Do something." =D At this point Colleen chimed in and said, "Can you stop time?!" She's a witty one =). Anyway, Krysta said he was panicing so she sent out emails and quickly sent out invites. They ordered the food from Buca di Peppo since Colleen likes Italian. Sooooo much food!

I need to get the pictures from Wendy - she took more of our family pictures. By the end of the night, I was pooped! I slept well. I was sleeping and dreaming, and it was weird because I heard my sister's footsteps in my dream. She walked in the room before she went to work to say goodbye. It was around 7am. I got up around 8:30, took a shower, ate lasagna, bread and meatballs for breakfast! and packed up to get ready to leave. I made us a plate of food to bring home, put in gas, got coffee, and we were on our way at 10am. As soon as we got home (around 1:30) I went straight to bed.

I slept until 5pm, ate more pasta and I'll start doing laundry soon. I go to work tomorrow.

Krysta will be going to Japan next year for school in Tsuru. It's close to Mt. Fuji. She'll be there from Jan. to June. Wendy (my sister-in-law) mentioned that they were thinking of going to Japan and so we started talking about all going. Wendy told us all to start the passport process Tues. (since today the post office is closed)! My passport expired so I do need to get another one. Since I have been thinking about visiting, it might be a good chance to visit Krysta and be a tourist with my family. But I'd want to be able to go to the Osaka area and visit friends too.

Lots of random stuff

Speed bumps. They are not all equal in my mind. The ones around the gym are the worst. Clearly whoever made those, was inexperienced. In fact, you can see that they had to scrape them after the fact because they must have gotten so many complaints. I complained when they first went up because no matter how slow I went, I'd still scrape the bottom of my car - grrrrr! In fact, that simple annoyance influenced my choice to stay away from the gym...of course there were other reasons as well, but that didn't help things =). Even now, I think they could make them a little lower. The big trucks and SUVs don't have the same problem since they ride higher, but us little guys have to go really, really slow.

The ones in front of Office Max are perfect in my opinion. Enough to slow me down, but not enough to make me cringe as I go over it. And the ones in front of Sam's Club are just too much. They have 2 bumps at a time, about a foot apart. I feel like I'm off-roading when I go over those.

Since I haven't posted in a while, I have a lot of random thoughts/stories swirling around.

Jet Blue - my cousin is a pilot and my friend was on his flight to DC. She actually saw him because he came out of the pit to make an announcement about a delay. I told her ahead of time that if she got a pilot named Jason, it was probably my cousin.

Drinking - I never really had a desire to drink...alcohol, that is =). I don't quite understand its appeal. I stop before I can get sick or get a headache or fall asleep. In my experience, it messes up my sleep and I just don't feel right. People may use it to numb the pain, or avoid thinking about something. But I would rather skip the drinking part since the problems don't go anywhere while you're drinking. Last Sat. I went over to Christina's and we drank some, but I didn't want to drink to get drunk. She probably wanted to, but I stopped, so I think she stopped too.

DMV - I don't have to go in to renew my driver's license =) I can do it online. Yay.

Flooring - a friend is getting all new flooring in her house. Wood and carpet. Making me think about more home improvements. =)

Deal or No Deal - watching it now and they're on a Million Dollar Mission. I want to see someone win a million!

Gym - In my attempt to do 30 min. a day on the elliptical, I'm getting at least 4 days a week in. Today I tried going the reverse direction. It feels weird, but it works different muscles.

Sunset Magazine - my favorite part of the magazine is the home design part. Not so interested in the recipes...although there have been interesting articles about wine and dining. I like those. Even the gardening tips are somewhat interesting to me. When I was a kid, I used to love looking at model homes and I remember making this little house plan in a shoe box.

Church - last week, we had missionaries sharing. We have adopted a people group in Equatorial Guinea and the pastor was here from Africa. It was so encouraging and inspiring. I believe our church was meant to support this work. God has already chosen the people to help with the work...even before they know. It was amazing to hear story after story about the pieces coming together to further His work. During the first 10 min. or so of sharing, I couldn't help but be touched in my spirit. It's a little frustrating at the same time because I feel like my heart's desire has to do with missions, but I don't feel like I know what to do with it. I need to pray more specifically about this. Until it's resolved somehow.

Making of a Human Flipbook

I poked my finger today while I was cleaning the blender =(. So now I have a bandaid on and it feels awkward trying to type. But I came across this video from another person's site and thought it was interesting. So I'm sharing with you =).

How do people come up with these ideas?

Monday morning

This will be my 4th day getting on the elliptical for 30 min. Yesterday, I took my Sunset magazine to read and the time went by faster. I had my iPod covering my ears and my magazine covering the display panel. So I'd have to peek every once in a while to see how long I had gone.

The first day I went to the gym, I was very clumsy =P. I dropped my iPod, then later I dropped my keys...the little area to put stuff was just like a shelf, and there was a place to put my water bottle. But the shelf was open on the sides, so my stuff just slid off. So now I'm more sophisticated because I bring a small bag with drawstrings on it so I can hang it from one of the handles. I put my iPod, gym card and keys in there so they won't fall =).

I was a little worried about making it to the gym today because I had planned to be at work from 10am to 8pm (plus the travel time), so I thought I'd either have to make sure to get to the gym by 7:30 or 8 or I'd go afterwards when I'd probably be tired. But, plans changed so I can leisurely go to the gym after 8am.

And I've been making a protein shake every morning for breakfast. It's kinda nice having the mornings free again...since I tend to be more productive in the morning. I wouldn't call myself a morning person, but I'm not a night person either - so what does that make me?! I guess I'm just a person =).

The weather is starting to get nice...approaching the 80's.

I really, really need to clean my room. It's like when weeds start taking over the backyard (I have to tend to the backyard too!). Papers, mail, clothes, files, magazines, shoes...they're all scattered around =S. It's starting to get to me. I'll work on it when I get back from the gym.

Okay, better get going. Anyone see a pattern in my posts lately? =)

More confidence

Funny how doing the Master Cleanse has given me more confidence in accomplishing other things. I find myself saying, "If I could go w/o solid food for 10 days, I could go do 30 min. on the elliptical." Which I did do this morning. I'm going to start back up at the gym. I stopped because of some foot pain, but that's when I was doing the treadmill. So my goal is 30 min. a day for 10 days. I'm making it a short time so I won't get overwhelmed by thinking "every day for the rest of my life!!" But that is the ultimate goal. I just want to be fit.

When I went to Mesquite, I didn't eat anything really satisfying. I pretty much ate at the little cafe they have. I didn't end up going to Katherine's because my eating schedule was all off and by the time I went to see what time they closed, they were already closed =(. But it was probably better in the end because I was planning to just get desert and coffee.

I have a lot of things I want to change about my life. The 2 big ones are healthy eating and exercise. I went grocery shopping today to get stuff for breakfast (protein shake stuff) and lunch or dinner (salad stuff). But I ended up going out for sushi with Alex for lunch. He was kinda depressed and I think just needed someone to hang out with and talk to for a little while. And it turned out I had enough stamps on my card (yes, I've gone to that restaurant more than once!) to get a free lunch, so I split it with Alex.

I feel better today even though I only spent 30 min. at the gym. I have the number of a chiropractor that I'll probably make an appt. with. I still think something is misaligned.

I've really enjoyed my time off and feel pretty rested.

Mesquite, Church, Football

Mesquite - just as I had planned =). Spa, pool, massage, steam, eat, drink, gamble, sleep, read, pool, eat, drink, read...oh, and I made some phone calls =). Actually, I made an international call from my cell phone for the first time! I was surprised it worked. I never was quite sure if I could do that with my phone. I had tried before but never succeeded - once to a German cell phone in the US and another time to a Japanese cell phone in the US. But this time I called my friend Yuko in Japan on her cell phone. She was in a bookstore and was very surprised =).

Church - I was searching to see if last Sunday's drama was posted on YouTube, but I found this video instead. It's the welcome video they show at the start of the service. It reminds me of the flight attendant videos they show when you fly =).

But I was looking for the video of the drama because it was really well done. It was a short piece (no talking) done to music. But it portrayed the message that we often get distracted by other things in this world, which can lead us into despair, but Jesus is always pursuing us and is strong enough to bring us back to Him. I still think that music can be such a powerful tool when used in conjunction w/some kind of visual arts. Now that I have Sundays off, I will try to make it to service more often. There's a new senior pastor that will be starting soon...next week?

Football - I'm doing that football thing again (last year I won $250!). Every week you pick teams and you can either pick all the winners, losers, or Fiddle-in-the-Middle (meaning half winners/losers). I laugh because last year, I was trying to pick all the winners, but it ended up I kept getting half of them right, so that's how I won. And last week, the same thing happened! I don't win anything now...it's only if I get half of them right as a total at the end of the season. So that's my method - try to pick all the winners, and end up getting half of them right. It's just something fun to give me a reason to watch football (since that's what was usually on TV at work all day long).

Mesquite

My mom is having fun on her new laptop. I finally got around to doing the wireless connection thang and encouraged her to learn how to search for information on her own. I'm no expert and believe she can learn just as well as I can...she just needs to learn how to ask the important questions and be able to make use of the resources out there. I'm looking forward to seeing how much she'll learn on her own. I'm sure her first project will be how to copy those Korean DVDs she gets from her friends!

I'm off to Mesquite in a few hours. I'll come back Thurs. afternoon. My plans? Sit at the pool, read, get a Stone massage, sit in the steam or sauna, sit in the jacuzzi, lay out at the pool, read, sleep, eat, drink, gamble...maybe watch Big Brother. There's a good restaurant in the hotel called Catherine's? Last time I was there w/Christina, we shared the Shrimp Scampi and Creme Brulee. I might have to have those again! And I had the Cioppinno, which was soo ono. I like Cioppinno...when we went out to Pasta Pirate's downtown just last Thurs., I ordered it and they give such big pieces of seafood. I'm getting hungry just thinking about it!

After my busy month, I'm ready for some relaxation. I should start packing. I'm driving so it's no rush...Mesquite is about an hour away from here. I wish I could stay longer. But I'm thankful for those 2 free nights =).

Feelin' Good =)

Today was my juice day, and I was sooooo happy!! I have been looking forward to having something else besides the lemonade cleanse concoction. I had Naked juice for breakfast, lunch and dinner. I also had water.

I'm feeling energized. But I'm not sure if it's physical or psychological =). I just finished putting miso soup on the stove. I added daikon, carrots, tofu and shiitake mushrooms. Maybe a weird combination, but it looks good to me!! I'm looking forward to eating that tomorrow...and finishing up my juices.

I even had a dream about food last night! I dreamt that I was eating regular food even though I knew I was supposed to be on liquids still.

Master Cleanse - Days 9 and 10!

Yeah!!! My last day of the cleanse =). Yesterday was a busy day, so I didn't post anything. Went to work, came home and took a nap, then did a Jewelry Show and didn't get home until 11ish =S! And I had to work this morning.

At the party, it was torture because Sandra made tostadas, rice and there was chips and salsa. But I stayed the course. And even tonight, my sister's family is in town and they took mom and Travys out for their birthdays (Aug. 14th and 26th), but I declined. That's a bummer, but I'll celebrate with mom on her birthday.

I just got back from Whole Foods Market and bought Naked Juice(s) and some salmon for later on in the week. Tomorrow will be juice day and then Monday will be miso soup day. Mmmm!! I don't have a plan for how I'm going to eat after that. I don't want to jump into my usual habits after all this.

Before

After

I think a lot of the foods I've been eating inflame my body. I'm not sure if it's fat I lost, or if I'm just less inflammed. I think I lost around 8 pounds during the past 10 days.

Overall, I'm glad I did it. Don't know if I feel a big difference, but I know my body appreciates it! For the most part, I felt fine throughout and my energy level was avg. But I didn't exert myself and did take naps...but I do that on a normal basis!

Oh, so Sabra won SYTYCD!! I'm happy for her. She only started dancing 4 years ago...amaaazing! Some people are just talented that way.

SYTYCD - final show

I'm watching the final So You Think You Can Dance show. The final four : Lacey, Sabra, Danny and Neil. Lacey just got eliminated. I'm thinking it's gotta be Danny. His pirouettes and jumps are flawless. I was thinking it was going to be either Lacey or Danny. Although, it really could be Sabra or Neil too. They are all such great and versatile dancers. I'd be happy with any of the remaining 3.

Vlogs and Day 8

I've mentioned on my private blog that I've been watching the vlogbrothers on YouTube the past few weeks. Here's an example of why! This is the one in which John licks a cat =)




There is so much going on with these guys, you just have to check it out. So many mysterious references that just won't make sense unless you do. =) And here's a link to their channel http://www.youtube.com/vlogbrothers





And I've also mentioned that I've enjoyed watching MelissaJenna on YT. Well...the two have collided! She's become a secret sister! Actually, I started watching them when she did a response video to John's Shakespearean insults vid.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SLC9GKpBpXc

I put the link to YT because she includes some links, or you can just watch the video below...or not =). Good to have options, eh?!







Does the fact that I enjoy both of them so much mean that I, too, am a Nerd Fighter?? I've never considered myself a Nerd, but maybe I really am deep inside. The reason I don't consider myself one is because I imagine Nerds to be quite intelligent on specific topics...and passionate about or committed to them.

Can I just say that I love the fact that Blogger saves automatically?!! I don't know exactly what happened, but there was an error and my computer shut down this page as I was working on it AND I lost nothing!! That makes me happy =)

I guess I can just finish this up with my report on day 8 of the master cleanse. I was feeling just a little weak today, but not enough to stop short of the 10 day goal. I'm going to make my last batch today...or at least squeeze the lemons tonight so I can mix everything later. I really am looking forward to eating solid food again.

I'm thinking that I may start writing on this blog more.

There's a pigeon in the backyard that I think might die soon. I thought it would die yesterday, but then it was able to fly somewhere so I thought it was ok. But it's back and it can't move around very well. I don't know what's wrong with it. Could it be a pregnant pigeon? That would be better. I just don't want to have to pick up another dead pigeon - yuck!

Master Cleanse - Day 7

I made 2 batches today - one first thing this morning, and then again tonight. So I should be set until Fri. I'll just need to make one more batch Fri. afternoon.

Even though I haven't felt much of a difference, other than losing pounds and better skin, my mom said that my feet looked thinner! Didn't notice that! But I must say that my heel hasn't been bothering me.

But tonight I do feel a little light headed. Not sure why. Of course the obvious answer is "You haven't eaten anything solid for 7 days!". But it's also pretty hot here - around 107 today. If I don't feel fine tomorrow, I might have to think about breaking the fast/cleanse early.

Days 1-7 totals:
Lemons squeezed = 35
Money spent = $66

Master Cleanse - Day 6

Again, I feel quite normal today. Nothing really outstanding to report on...just 4 more days to go! Tomorrow morning I'll need to get more lemons/maple syrup and make another batch.

That's all for now!!

Days 1-6 totals:
Lemons squeezed = 24
Money spent = $45

Master Cleanse - Day 5

This marks the half way point! =) I went to buy more lemons today ($5). Feeling surprisingly normal. But when I take naps, they seem extremely sound. Like I haven't slept for a day, and then I lay down to sleep...that kind of sudden, heavy sleep. I slept for an hour when I came home.

I'm starting to see a very slight change in my skin. Nicer color and smoother.

I'll see how the next few days go since I don't have work and I'll have more time on my hands. It'll be a good opportunity for reading and prayer and resting.

Days 1-5 totals:
Lemons squeezed = 24
Money spent = $45

Master Cleanse - Day 4

No trips to the grocery store today! Yipppeee! But tomorrow I'll have to go after work. Surprisingly, I feel awake and I'm not wilting away even though I haven't had solid food since Wed. My body feels better than yesterday - not as achey. No headaches today. I've lost 5 pounds since Fri.

One thing I noticed was the pressure of going to the grocery store and making a new batch of the cleanse. Because if I didn't, then I'd have to just go without! I've never felt that kind of pressure to prepare something before. Usually, if I don't make food, I just go out and buy something quick.

As of today, my biggest challenge is just going to the grocery store and squeezing those lemons!

But it's kinda freeing to not have to think about what to eat or prepare. I know exactly what to prepare and when I need to make more.

I want to eat or drink coffee to fill in down time or to comfort myself. Or to have a certain taste in my mouth (usually involving garlic!). It's also a social thing. Going to get food with others.

I don't know that I've felt a spiritual difference yet. But I certainly have more time to pray since I'm not thinking about what to eat.

Days 1-4 totals
Lemons squeezed = 18
Money spent = $40

Master Cleanse - Day 3

No noticeable difference today, except that I lost a couple of pounds. I was really tired after work, but I've been tired all week. I did have a muscle pain on my left side after I had lifted something at work. But I got it stretched out a bit and after taking a bath, it feels better.

After taking a nap after work, I went to get more lemons! I think this will be a daily trip until I finish the cleanse. 7 lemons cost about $5. I made another batch that should last me until Mon. afternoon.

I had some peppermint tea this morning. The book said it was ok, but I wondered if there is any caffeine in that kind of tea. Probably not. I'm not much of a tea drinker, but that tea tasted good. I was even ok with smelling other peoples' food. Bacon, spaghetti...but I had to turn the radio off when the program I was listening to started talking about food preparation. I can't remember exactly what kind of food - oh! I think it was lobster rolls...with garlic...and butter...and then I had to switch it off! And I usually like to read this blog about food, but I'm avoiding that blog right now.

Days 1-3 totals
Lemons squeezed = 18
Money spent = $40

Master Cleanse - Day 2

I just got back from doing a jewelry show. It was fun and it was my first time having to pack everything up and setting up by myself. It went well and I'm looking forward to seeing how much free jewelry the hostess will end up earning (there are still a few more orders we're waiting on).

Today I missed my coffee in the morning =(. But other than that, going food-less was not so hard. I drank my lemonade throughout the day. I went to the grocery store to buy more lemons and maple syrup ($25). I made another batch. I wonder if I should make bigger batches...it only lasts for a day and a half. If I double the batch, it should last 3 days. But that would mean squeezing 12 lemons at a time!

I got a slight headache just for a little while, then it went away. All part of the detoxifying process. My co-worker told me that the first few days are the most crucial and that it's when people are the most irritable. Hmmm....I think I was at that stage before I started!

Days 1-2
lemons squeezed = 12
money spent = $35

Master Cleanse - Day 1

Since I didn't prepare last night, I woke up this morning and started squeezing lemons. It took 6 lemons to make 1 1/2 cups of lemon juice.

Taking my first sip

Oh, kind of a spicy batch. When I opened the cayenne pepper bottle, there was a clump at the top so I think I ended up putting in more than a teaspoon.

Need to be sure to shake well because it settles quickly

Here's the squirt gun I bought so I could scare the pigeons away when I'm laying in the hammock...

I just may have to go outside and test it out =).

Master Cleanse preparation

From the book I read for school "Staying Healthy with the Seasons" by Elson M. Haas, here's the Stanley Burrough's Master Cleanser recipe:

2 tablespoons Fresh squeezed lemon or lime juice
1-2 tablespoons 100% maple syrup
1/10 teaspoon Cayenne pepper
8 ounces Spring water

I increased the recipe 10x and this is how it converted:

1 1/2 cup Fresh squeezed lemon or lime juice
1 1/2 cup 100% maple syrup
1 teaspoon Cayenne pepper
10 cups Spring water

Drink at least 6 glasses a day. So I'll need to make a batch about every other day.

I'm also supposed to take 1 tablespoon of cold-pressed (unrefined and naturally pressed) twice a day. It's a good nutrient, liver tonic, and intestinal lubricant.

I bought 7 lemons and cayenne pepper the other day and it cost about $10. I already have some maple syrup, but will need to buy more.

I took a picture of my face and tongue because last time I did this, my face and tongue looked so much better. But I'm not sure if you can tell by the picture. So I'll wait until the end to see if it's worth posting or not.

Before even starting, I feel tired, it's hot (around 103 degrees) here, and I have slight achiness. I typically have a little bit of a runny nose in the mornings. I don't think I'm getting sick though. I haven't been exercising or stretching much. I'm going to try to do more stretching and breathing exercises during the cleanse. I also want to focus on prayer.

An exerpt from the book:

"Lemon is perfect liver food and a great body cleanser. High in vitamin C, potassium, and other minerals, lemons are somewhat astringent, meaning that they contract and tighten tissues, which loosens up and clears the toxins from deep tissues and organs. My hypothesis is that lemons are an especially good aid to arthritis sufferers, cleansing the joint spaces. This very cleansing action can cause joint pains, which is why people with arthritis and their doctors may feel it is inappropriate but this irritation will pass, and the joints will feel improved.

The cayenne pepper helps clear the blood and eliminates toxins and mucus, as well as keeps the body warm. The maple syrup is wonderful energy (calories too), and it, along with honey, is a primary natural sugar...Honey is not acceptable in this drink, as it is congesting in thes doses.

Drink Master Cleanser as needed throughout the day, at least six glasses a day. One or two weeks is not too difficult or too long for this cleanse."

Breaking Point, Turning Point

Very bizarre (is it one z and 2 r's, or 2 z's and one r??!) behavior from yours truly this afternoon. In a fit of rage, I trashed my room. Well, maybe it was more a mini-fit of frustration, I toppled things onto the floor from my bed, bookshelf and nightstand =). I let myself do it because that's not something I'd usually do, but felt the urge. I did it pensively, but tried to let some steam off. I'm still too much in my head to do anything that drastic.

The bad thing about messing up your room as a way of release is that eventually you have to clean it up. The good thing is that all the flat surfaces look so clean (except the floor, which looks disasterous). I started journaling on my bed and then I fell asleep. When I woke up, I looked to see what time it was but the clock was knocked on the floor so I didn't know. I started thinking of that attachment we sometimes have to time. I let it go. I don't have to be anywhere or do anything today.

Then I started to think about what triggered this in the first place. A combination of things, I'm sure. But to name a few:

1. Watching that guy on Oprah that lives in a really small house he built in OR or WA. He cut out a lot of complications in his life.

2. Watching Vlogbrother videos on YouTube. Entertaining brothers who seem to be involved in community and think of fun and meaningful projects to be a part of.
http://www.youtube.com/vlogbrothers
http://www.brotherhood2.com

3. Sitting out in the backyard in the hammock under the patio cover while it rained. The sound of rain puts me in an introspective mood.

4. Feeling alone in the things I do, the things I aspire to do and feeling limited in my ability to accomplish them.

Lying in the dark after waking up from my unintentional nap, I thought about fasting. And then about doing the Master Cleanse. Fasting in order to focus my attention on what kinds of projects to align myself with. Before I took my nap, I was writing down some of the things I'd like to change or help others with.

1. Healthcare - increase nutritional/fitness knowledge (that is, after I increase my own knowledge!); decrease the drug dependence.

2. Finance - increase wise financial management in families

3. Food pantry - help to feed the hungry

4. I know I'd like to be involved in something more global too.

5. Help others dream dreams and see them come to life.

6. Uncover gifts/talents and find uses for them that will bring glory to God.

But it doesn't all have to be so serious. The brothers that vlog have this project of somehow utilizing misprinted business cards that are floating around. I don't know if it's been decided yet, but great way to take something we normally think of as waste and turning it into something good or fun, or whatever - as if to redeem those mistakes =).

I want my life to become more simple, focused, and fun. I worry about money more than I should, sit unproductively in front of the TV more than I want, and play video games more than is good for me. There are a lot of projects at home, but I just don't have the means to fund them right now. So instead of becoming discouraged, maybe I should look at ways to volunteer my time to help others do what they dream of doing.

I remember a story about 2 groups of people. Both had long spoons tied to their hands, sitting at a round table full of food. One group starved because they couldn't feed themselves with the spoons being longer than their arms, while the others enjoyed the feast by feeding the person across the table from them.

Library and Insults

Someday, I'd like to have a library...that is, an organized library, in my home. I stumbled upon this YouTube video about a guy's library and Shakespearean insults =). He actually used LibraryThing.com (something I'd like to use to catalog my books).

Cultivating Passion

"The Art of Effortless Living"
Chapter 11 - Cultivating Passion

Wouldn't life be easy if we could guide ourselves completely by listening to inner guidance? We wouldn't have to make any decisions ourselves. We'd just abandon ourselves to letting our higher selves take the reins, knowing that we could rest in the certainty of going in the right direction. We'd be totally surrendered.

Wouldn't it be great to live with total abandon to God? To have that sensitivity and awareness of God directing our path so that we wouldn't waver or worry.

In real life, however, surrender is not so easy. Most of us would rather stay in the illusion of control even if that makes our lives harder. We'd rather pretend that if we can just keep on deciding how things are going to go, then life will turn out better. But control is an illusion. It's when we try to control the outcomes of our relationships that we find frustration and disappointment, when we try to control our bodies that we get sick, when we try to control other nations that we end up in wars that destroy us all.

Commitment depends on character, and character includes such qualities as poise, forbearance, kindness, patience, courage and more. we aren't born with these traits. If we have them, it's because we cultivate them...It's because it's so easy to get distracted by daily events and pressures that so many of us don't develop character to a point where it can bring deep rewards...One moment we're all for living with high ideals, and the next moment we're complaining to friends about how awful the world is.

...We have to develop consistency, commitment and sincerity...Strength of character is about having inspiring ideals, and pursuing those ideals is what makes life an act of passion.

...Passion is not something that happens to us. It is a way of living that we develop.

If we want passion, we have to focus our attention on what lifts us higher. Things that lift us higher are the only things that can hold our attention over the long term. They cultivate our capacity for commitment.

Perhaps this is what has been missing for me...focus on what is greater than myself. God is in my life, and I believe God is a great and awesome God. But then I put myself in the equation, and suddenly I believe that I have power to block God's greatness...just by being a mere, ordinary person. What?!

(quote from Vivekenanda) - If a man with an ideal makes a thousand mistakes, I am sure that the man without an ideal makes fifty thousand. Therefore, it is better to have an ideal. And this ideal we must hear about as much as we can, till it enters into our hearts, into our brains, into our very veins, until it tingles in every drop of our blood and permeates every pore in our body.

Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength. Mark 12:30

Chapter 13 - The Art of Personal Relationships

The more empowered we are within ourselves, the more readily we can give up the need for payback from other people. The more we give up the need for payack, the more able we are to support them in a productive manner, even when they cannot give back to us.