Ended up going to the Grammy Museum yesterday. First I went to go pick up a lamp and then made my way over to downtown. I got to one parking lot but it looked like you had to have a pass to get in so I asked the guy and he said the lot just opened and the signs weren't put up yet. But I could park there and the museum was just across the street. So I parked and walked. I haven't been to the Staples Center since it became the Staples Center! I think the last time I was there was for a Laker game back in 1980-something!! Lakers vs. Jazz.


In the middle was an electronic Christmas tree. And it looked like it was being set up for some kind of performance. Stage, speakers, mics, etc.

And on the sidewalk, there were a bunch of these types of plaques.

I think I was in the museum for a couple of hours, but I could have easily spent more time in there. They had a lot of filmed interviews and narrations of the history of music, the recording process, song writer's perspectives/inspirations. I went into this sound booth where you could hear song samples played with different equipment. Chris Brown played on an old phonograph or cassette tape! It wasn't crowded at all. And no classrooms in there =). I would go again.

Yesterday I ended up meeting Wendy for lunch at Sanuki no Sato just down the street. Debbie told us that they have the best nabeyaki. I heard it's always crowded...and it was! But we got seated right away and I think it was the best nabeyaki I'd ever had! The dashi was so flavorful, there was lots of seaweed inside and they had kamaboko, bamboo shoots, shiitake mushrooms, egg, shrimp tempura...everything was so ono =).

I was going to find an antique store or go buy the lamp, but I decided to take a drive towards the coast and I ended up in Manhattan Beach...

I sat on a bench on the little pier listening to music on my phone and I had a book, but I didn't read much. I just took in the ocean air and sun, enjoying the sights. All those poles on the beach are for volleyball nets. There were a few groups playing while I was there. This guy was on some kind of board paddling away...

This is the little pier I was on before. I thought it was a good idea that the benches along the pier all faced outward...makes much more sense.

I'm planning to go to the Grammy Museum today, but I'm killing time now since the traffic is backed up because they closed part of the Hollywood fwy because of a shooting early this morning. Since being back in LA, that awareness of surroundings is coming back to me. I never really feel scared in Vegas, but I do in LA. As I've been driving around, I sense more of a boldness in people. They will look directly at you as if to puff out their chest at you. I see men checking out women with more obvious stares. And I just feel that people are more likely to be provoked here if they get a wrong look from you.

And the freeway driving here takes a little more concentration for me. So many more freeways to choose from! But I am a California girl and this feels like home to me.

Still sitting in Starbuck's and I'm listening to the CD I got from Wendy's parents. It's the music from one of the Korean dramas - Summer Scent. I don't think I've watched that drama. My brother and sister-in-law have been watching them at night. But if it doesn't catch their attention during the first episode, they give it back and ask for another recommendation. They seem to like the ones that have more complicated story lines.

This was a bad week to try to stick with writing 3 pages in the morning. It's hard to be disciplined while on vacation!

I needed to be outside today. I would have liked to be sitting in a cool coffee place in SF, or walking in a museum, or in an old antique store, or on the beach...but I settled for the Starbuck's patio up on Horizon Ridge. It's got a fair view and it's spacious. When I sat down, it was 75 degrees and after a few hours, it went down to about 68. Still warm even though it's the end of Nov. No complaints from me =). I was able to read and finish "The Artist's Way"...finally! I'm gonna go through it again and do the exercises.

I think I need to work through it and see where it leads. There's a pattern in my life where I become dissatisfied and restless. Not all the time, but sporadically. Today I kinda felt like that. I get the feeling that I'm not doing what I'm meant to be doing. There's something more I need to be doing...maybe not something more, but something closer to my heart.

It's like I have trouble accessing what's in my heart so I have trouble moving towards my heart's desire. It's probably more accurate to say that I know what's in my heart, but I'm not allowing myself to admit it and go there. "The Artist's Way" addresses these blocks we have - and that's why I want to really work through this book. I want to get through barriers and myths and fears.

I admire people who are clear on their likes and dislikes; who are passionate and enthusiastic and can express it freely. I think I picked up the idea somewhere that I'm not supposed to show my feelings. Even though I've been changing, I have a ways to go. I think writing has been my saving grace.

Quotes from "The Artist's Way"...

"Creativity is oxygen for our souls. Cutting off our creativity makes us savage. We react like we are being choked."

"We are not accustomed to thinking that God's will for us and our own inner dreams can coincide. Instead, we have bought the message of our culture: this world is a vale of tears and we are meant to be dutiful and then die. The truth is that we are meant to be bountiful and live...Our truest dream for ourselves is always God's will for us."

"While we are ambivalent, the universe will seem to us also to be ambivalent and erratic...Once we trigger an internal yes by affirming our truest goals and desires, the universe mirrors that yes and expands it."

"Mystery is at the heart of creativity. That, and surprise. All too often, when we say we want to be creative, we mean that we want to be able to be productive"

"God is glorified in the fruitage of our lives." Joel S. Goldsmith

The weekend seemed a little busy. I went to yoga Fri. morning and met a friend for lunch at Vintner's. It was hard to find, but I eventually made it and the food was really good. A bit pricey, but worth it. I had the caesar's salad and bouillabaisse. Didn't do anything in the evening since my back was aching.

I made an appt. to get a massage the next morning. It was just what I needed - I asked her to work only my back, forearms and shoulders if there was time. After that, I went to look at flooring, bathroom stuff and ended up walking around the whole store. I came home to meet with a guy who I'll probably ask to put the flooring in for the extra room. I want to learn too so I asked if he'd show me what to do so I can help. I got ideas from him about the extra room and bathroom so after we were done, I went to another place to look at flooring.

I was thinking all this time that I wanted laminate. I was drawn to the Brazilian cherry (can't remember what colors these were)

But then I saw some tile samples and I started to wonder if I liked the tile better...

I liked this one with it's rustic look...you can't tell from the picture, but each tile has a slightly different shade or blend of colors so it's not so uniform.

So now I'm thinking of going with tile in that extra room. Today I picked up some color sample cards for paint. And I also looked around a home consignment store just to get ideas. Most of the small tables, lamps, chests that I liked were $200 and above. I won't be able to get everything at once.

It's hard to imagine how everything will look together. I like certain things, but I don't know how they'll go with eachother. For the bathroom, I want to get a vessel sink - I saw a cobalt blue one I liked. But instead of it sitting right on top, I want it sunken in maybe halfway. I have an idea of what kind of faucet, but again, not sure if they'll go together. I guess that's where professionals come in handy - they can tie things together or modify to fit your taste.

I remember getting the backyard done, I showed the landscaper pictures of things I liked and he came up with a plan that I liked. I had mapped out in my head where things could go, but he filled in the details.

Well, I'm getting hungry now so I'll stop so I can make something to eat...I feel like having nabe tonight.

I dug up a couple of Rolfing books because Suki told me she was reading one from the library and was planning to buy a copy for herself so she could mark it up. I thought that I might have them from years ago, but wasn't sure. Since I've gotten rid of so many things, I had to look. Sure enough, one was in my closet and one was in the garage! I gave her one and the other one I'm feverishly reading before I see her next! I probably won't finish it, but I want to get through as much as I can.

I got those books right after finishing school because I was most interested in Structural Integration. But I never got to reading them, so I figure it's best to go to someone who will use it now. It's an interesting read.

I'm intrigued by the physical/psychological/emotional/spiritual connection. I've been drawn to things that have to do with healing, but have never quite been able to find that place that seems like home. I've been interested in psychology, but never wanted to be a psychologist. I thought at one point that I'd like going into physical therapy or chiropractics. I've thought that I might be gifted in intercessory prayer. I was told that I may have the gift of healing. I've experienced times of prayer where my hands would shake uncontrollably.

Now I wonder if being a therapist will weave everything together for me. I want to learn more about healing through bodywork. Not just on a physical level, but on a deeper, more lasting level. I wonder if belief systems can be reached from a physical avenue. I'm praying that God will guide me to that "home". I want to be able to use any gifts I may have for His glory and to bless and free those I come into contact with. Not that I need to see all the results, but I want to be a part of peoples' healing and journey to health.


From "Rolfing and Physical Reality" by Ida Rolf

"This is the gospel of Rolfing: When the body gets working appropriately, the force of gravity can flow through. Then, spontaneously, the body heals itself."

Hopefully I will do some reading this weekend. Reading seems to plant my feet on the ground. I guess it depends what I read...probably why I choose to read books that are reflective in nature. It seems like in the process of letting one's creative side free, you need to recover some lost things in yourself. The last chapters I've read have been on recovering a sense of strength and compassion. There are things we tell ourselves as we develop and that we carry with us until we sort out for ourselves what is true and what is false.

"The Artist's Way"

Pain that is not used profitably quickly solidifies into a leaden heart, which makes any action difficult.

One of the most important tasks in artistic recovery is learning to call things - and ourselves - by the right names. Most of us have spent years using the wrong names for our behaviors. We have wanted to create and we have been unable to create and we have called that inability laziness. This is not merely inaccurate. It is cruel. Accuracy and compassion serve us far better.

Finding it hard to begin a project does not mean you will not be able to do it. It means you will need help - from your higher power, from supportive friends, and from yourself. First of all, you must give yourself permission to begin small and go in baby steps. The steps must be rewarded. Setting impossible goals creates enormous fear, which creates procrastination, which we wrongly call laziness.

There is only one cure for fear. That cure is love.

Fear...I wonder what life would look like w/o fear. It seems to be what drives people to do extreme things. I mean extreme things in a potentially harmful way. I believe love drives people to extremes too.

When I cook (yes, it does happen from time to time!), I like to start with a clean kitchen and I typically clean as much as I can as I go. And it irritates me if I come home and want to cook, but there are dirty dishes around...because then I feel like I need to clean everything first before I can start. I just like to have room.

And I think I feel like that with space in general. When I have a cluttered room, I don't feel like I can move forward. Recently, I feel unhappy with my environment at home. It feels stagnant. There's no forward movement. I need to find the little things I can do to change what's around me. I'm focused on cleaning this weekend. I feel like if I clean, other things will open up for me. I will feel comfortable with starting something new. I don't know what that new thing will be, but I will be ready for it.

At first, I wanted to organize my life this weekend - do some evaluating and map out some steps to get to some specific goals. But now I think that maybe I just need to start clearing things out in the house and that will help free up my mind and make things clearer for me. Right now, I feel like there are so many things I want to do and I'm having a hard time prioritizing and clarifying. It's like going through a purifying/isolating process.

I used to work in an immunological lab and one job I had was isolation. I would get a batch of animal blood that had been developed to build up antibodies to a certain antigen. So my job was to take out everything else from the blood and leave the specific antibody in there. I would filter it, concentrate it, test it to see what else needed to be removed and keep going through that process until the product was pure. Even though it was a tedious process, it was satisfying to end up with a concentrated, pure product.

And that's what I want in my life. I want to remove unnecessary, distracting things and end up with a concentrated, pure life. I've always wanted a simple life. So instead of trying to reach and build that ideal life (as if I need to obtain something new), maybe what I need is to purify what I already have. In other words, God has already given me all I need for life so I just need to remove the obstacles.

Michelangelo said that he released David from the marble block he found him in. There is one sculpture that I want to find where it looks like a man emerging from a block. I don't know if it's by Michelangelo (I think it is). But I remember first seeing that somewhere years ago and it's always stuck with me because it depicted such a strong, vibrant man emerging from a simple, ordinary, almost lifeless block.

So instead of thinking of all the changes and remodeling I want to do in the house (and my life), I will focus on clearing out what I don't need and enhancing what is already there. Somehow, that puts my mind more at ease and the task doesn't look as daunting. A good place to start.

More quotes from "The Artist's Way"

For those of us who have become artistically anorectic - yearning to be creative and refusing to feed that hunger in ourselves so that we become more and more focused on our deprivation - a little authentic luxury can go a long way.

Art requires us to empower ourselves with choice. At the most basic level, this means choosing to do self-care.

Because artistic losses are seldom openly acknowledged or mourned, they become artistic scar tissue that blocks artistic growth...The unmourned disappointment becomes the barrier that separates us from future dreams.

"Surround yourself with people who respect and treat you well." Claudia Black

"Man can learn nothing except by going from the known to the unknown." Claude Bernard

Just as a player who ignores a sore muscle may tear it further, an artist who buries his pain over losses will ultimately cripple himself into silence.

From "The Artist's Way"...

Dependence on the creator within is really freedom from all other dependencies. Paradoxically, it is also the only route to real intimacy with other human beings. Freed from our terrible fears of abandonment, we are able to live with more spontaneity. Freed from our constant demands for more and more reassurance, our fellows are able to love us back without feeling so burdened.

I went to yoga this morning and the teacher said one of the students was forbidden by her husband to mention yoga after she had been going for about 2 months. He was so tired of her talking about it. I can understand because once you start going, it feels so good that you want everyone to know about it and benefit from it. I've done yoga before, but Bikram Yoga is quite different for me. When the husband asks his wife where she's going, she tells him, "To the Y" =). The teacher told us to just imagine the person we want to join the class in the room on a mat next to us.

My stomach feels squishy today...I want it to be firm and toned. Some of those teachers make me smile. One teacher said, "Smile, it's just yoga" - that was funny to me...it's just yoga. Don't take things too seriously and don't make things too difficult. Ok.

At one time, I liked to imagine myself as a writer. Having a house somewhere with a beautiful view of the ocean or woods - somewhere peaceful where I would spend mornings with coffee and writing. I haven't thought about that in a long time. But I still want to write. Everyone has a story to tell. I wish I knew my dad's story. I feel like I want to write it down, but it would take some digging around to uncover it. He wasn't the kind of man to talk about himself much. Or maybe I should just try to do a fictional version about him...never really tried that before...

"I'm sorry...I love you." Was that the first time she was hearing those words from his lips? He got up and hugged her tightly. She definitely didn't remember ever being hugged like that from him...ever. That's the moment her relationship with her father began to change.

When I got my oil changed, a man walked into the waiting room but I didn't look at him because I was reading a book. He spoke with the service guy and he sounded like he was mid-50's, almost 60 years old. So I was surprised when I did see his face and he looked like he was in his late 20's, early 30's! How could a young guy sound twice his age?!

That's all I have to say for now! =)

Went to yoga this morning and after I showered I ate some leftover Chinese. I read a little, and then dozed off to sleep. I've been very sleepy today. Matt didn't call me back so I guess he's not making it today.

A very, very, lazy day today. The past 2 times the yoga room wasn't as hot. Usually I'm sweating so much that I can't grip my leg without having to wipe it with a towel. The room is supposed to be around 105 degrees, but I don't think it was today or yesterday.

The temp is cooling down here - under 100 =). 5 degrees cooler and it'll feel just about right! It already is starting to feel a little chilly in the evenings for me - that's what happens when you live in Vegas for 10 years! Can't believe it's been that long.

I feel like eating a hamburger now...with fries and a shake. But I'm afraid I might not feel so great if I eat that since I haven't had it for a while and because I'm cleaning out my body with all that yoga I've been doing. Well, let's do an experiment and see what happens! =)

The day has been good so far...I still want to get more stuff done though. I picked up Suki and we went to yoga this morning, then I came home, showered and took some stuff to Goodwill (TV, lamp, clothes). I went to get my car washed, but there was a long line so I went to Costco to put in gas and came back to the carwash place and the line was even longer! so I came home, ate, paid some bills, balanced my checkbook, and I'm about to go out to get my oil changed and go to Trader Joe's. I want to pick up some oatmeal. I might stop by and see if the carwash is still crowded.

I need to mail out some checks, re-order some checks, do laundry and clean up the extra room. Matt is supposed to come over tomorrow to look at the room - he's gonna put some ashiatsu bars up for me.

I feel like I can take a nap, but I'm afraid if I do, I'll be up late tonight or wake up in the middle of the night.

I haven't taken a personal retreat in a while...oh wait, I think it's been a year. I went to Mesquite at the beginning of Sept. I feel like I don't have a strong direction in my life. I'm improving my life, but I want to deepen it.

Sometimes sadness comes and I don't know why or where it comes from. I feel it now. I felt it for a moment in yoga. I wonder if it's something being released within me. I have suppressed so much in my lifetime. I have never felt depressed to the point of not being able to function. In today's class, the teacher said something about some poses triggering release in some people. I can't remember exactly what she said, but it makes sense to me.

I want to take some time out to pray and read...maybe even fast. I feel shallow.

Today and yesterday I didn't have to wake up to an alarm =). Trying to get fit takes a lot of time and effort. Since going to yoga, I feel like I haven't had much time for anything else. I guess because I've been going on my work days and I've also been trying to practice ashiatsu. I have to remember that I'm burning a lot more energy so I need to eat more. The last time I went to yoga was on Wed. and I felt like I didn't have as much energy in class. I've just been eating like I was before. So I'm going to try to get more protein and eat more frequently. I don't want my body to waste away to nothing (not much danger of that!). I think I see a little difference in my hamstrings. They're always really tight and kinda bulky - but I think they're starting to lengthen ever so slightly =).

I want to buy more fruit today...I've been on a fruit kick lately. Plums, white peaches and white nectarines. And I've also been on a tomato soup kick =) - Roasted red pepper and tomato soup and I drop some pinenuts in there and then have that with a piece of bread.

Looking forward to the weekend. Nothing really planned...just relaxing. Maybe pull out that gigantic weed in the backyard =S then lay out in the hammock with a book =). I think it may be time for me to do a personal retreat soon.

This video is from Communitychannel and she's talking about her theory about jogging in the morning..."I keep seeing bodies" haha! she cracks me up =D




I'm glad I don't jog in the morning. In fact, I'm glad I don't jog at all. I've never liked jogging or running unless it was disguised in some kind of sport like basketball, softball or tennis.

I feel pretty good about the progress I've been making this year. I wanted to get fit and look better. I want to be at my best. Be authentic and comfortable with myself. The past few years have been taking care of family matters, finances and working on the house (cleaning/fixing). So this year has been about me =). I still have more to work on, but I feel closer now. I got my hair trimmed on Fri. and Heather was so excited about how my hair is growing out. She said it was looking nice and healthy. I can feel the difference too. I got 2 compliments on my hair this weekend from strangers. =) All that coloring and highlighting was weakening my hair, so my hair feels stronger now.

I had a somewhat productive day today. It got me in the mood to get things done. I made my list of things to do so I hope to finish off the list this week. I kept getting sidetracked so I didn't cross off as many things on my list.

Going to yoga early tomorrow so I better get to sleep...ja ne.

Today was an excellent day. I went to Bikram Yoga (yoga done in a hot room - 104 degrees) this morning. I picked up Suki at 7am and we met Ali there. It was the first time for me and Ali. The class was from 7:30 to 9. I have never sweat so much! I couldn't do a lot of the poses and I had to rest because I didn't want to push myself too far; but it felt great to work hard. I did a lot of the stuff and I'm looking forward to getting stronger and more flexible.

I dropped off Suki at home, went home to shower and then she came over to teach my mom Korean. While they were doing that, I finished getting ready for work and then copied her Duffy CD...I'm listening to it now =). I really like this CD. I bought her song Mercy, but after I heard the CD in Suki's car, I wanted it! After they finished, we went to eat chirashi and agedashi tofu at Sushi Avenue. We've been going there quite a bit. The fish has always been so fresh and the chirashi is just right.

Since I didn't have to leave for work yet, we went shopping. Then I went to work and she went on her way. It was a good day. I'm going to buy a membership at the Bikram yoga place tomorrow. I want to go at least 3 times a week. I still want to go to the gym for cardio and weights.

Gonna start going to sleep earlier so I can wake up earlier...so goodnight. No Japanese dramas for me tonight! =)

I'm finally feeling better - just about 100%. I'd say 98% right now. I still have to clear my throat throughout my day.

Yesterday, I told my mom that I'd take her out for her birthday today since I work on her birthday, Tues. She wanted to go for lunch instead of dinner - so we went to PF Chang's. We had the Vegetarian Lettuce Wraps, Almond and Cashew Chicken, Shrimp w/candied walnuts and the Combo pan fried noodles. Then I dropped her off at GVR so she could pick up the football cards while I went home to drop off our leftovers, and then I drove back and we stayed about an hour to gamble. I donated $20.

I was so tired after that - so I ended up sleeping a few hours. When I got up, I went to the grocery store.

Oh, in the morning I watched the last episode of "Long Vacation". In one part, Senna's teacher told him that he's the kind of person who wouldn't use the word "lonely". And that when he plays the piano, he needs to break through his wall and find someone to play for. It made me think that I may be that type too. It made me wonder why it seems hard for me to fall in love. Some people seem to do it easily, but I either run away or give up too quickly...maybe? When I meet someone that I'm a little attracted to, I don't think about pursuing him or trying to get his attention. What would happen if I did? I guess my thinking is a little old fashioned - I think the man should move first. When we went out last Thurs., one of my co-workers told me that when she first met her boyfriend, she told him, "Just to let you know, you're my new boyfriend"! I thought it was cute...and bold =).

Love and relationships...they take up so much of our energy and time.

Almost a full week since my congestion really set in. But last night, I put my head over boiling water and added some frankincense essential oil and took as many deep breathes in as I could. My co-worker suggested it because she said I may have a sinus infection and the oil is a great antibacterial. She first suggested lavendar, but I don't have any. But last night, I felt a little better and this morning I'm hopeful that I'm going to fight it. I also took extra vitamin C and she said I should take zinc, but I just took my multivitamin. I was getting mad last night because I wasn't getting better.

I'm going to work out this morning and sit in the sauna for a bit. When I don't feel well, I feel trapped. I want to do more, but I know I need to rest. And with congestion, my mind doesn't feel clear.

My hair is getting longer. I need to wear a headband when I work out so my hair won't cover my face. I'm still ok leaving it down for work though. I get a trim next week just to clean it up.

Today was our first day of Ashiatsu training...I love it! I think I'll really like this modality. Even though today felt awkward just because it's all new - using our feet instead of our hands - after some practice, it'll flow better for me. There are a few levels of technique to learn and I'd like to continue with it. We have 2 more days of training, and then we'll need to send in a written test, and 4 evaluations from people we practice on before we get certified. I like that it ended up being just Suki and myself - we both got worked on by the instructor and eachother so we can compare and give feedback.

I think I just like learning new things because whatever I take, I think, "Maybe I'll specialize in this"! =) I can see myself really liking Thai Massage and Lomi Lomi too. Fluid techniques that look like dance. It's interesting because this particular type of work is a blend of techniques - one being a type of martial arts training from India. In Aikido, we did a series of stretches, exercises and drills as part of our warm up and more stretches, breathing exercises and a little meditation at the end of each class. And I do remember doing some shiatsu type work along the spine on one another at the end of class sometimes. That and the stretching were my favorite parts of class! So the art form in India had this bodywork as part of their training.

Yesterday and today I was feeling like maybe I had allergies - sore throat, congested and sleepy. But I think getting worked on for about 90 min. today flushed things out of me. I still feel a little off, but I should be back to normal tomorrow - I hope.

I think I need to start doing more physical things like a martial art, dance or some other physical art form. And going to the gym doesn't count! Maybe it's the "art" part that I'm missing in my life.

When we were talking with the instructor, she was talking about how she was so disappointed in how the US fails in the area of nutrition and how greed took precedence over good eating habits. You could tell she was passionate about it. I like to see that in people. I want to find that in myself. I feel like I can be interested in so many things that I get lost easily.

It's like I can force myself to like anything if I had to. Oh, except teaching small children English in Japan! I tried that more than once and I think I almost gave myself a nervous breakdown! =)

Maybe I should start "The Artist's Way" again from the beginning and commit to doing to the exercises as if I were taking an actual class. I feel bottled up inside...like something is trying to make its way out, but I'm holding things in. 12 weeks. 3 months. If I start this week, I'll finish mid-Nov.

I'm reading "The Artist's Way" but I'm not doing all the exercises. To get the most out of the book, I really should be doing the exercises. Maybe when I re-read it later on...but here are some quotes from the book as the author talks about Attention and Synchronicity :

"The capacity for delight is the gift of paying attention"

"The reward for attention is always healing. It may begin as the healing of a particular pain - the lost lover, the sickly child, the shattered dream. But what is healed, finally, is the pain that underlies all pain : the pain that we are all, as Rilke phrases it, 'unutterably alon.' More than anything else, attention is an act of connection."

"...the slightest attention to our impoverished areas can nurture them."

When a man takes one step toward God, God takes more steps toward that man than there are sands in the worlds of time. The Work of The Chariot

A discovery is said to be an accident meeting a prepared mind. Albert Szent-Gyorgyi

"Understand that the what must come before the how. First choose what you would do. The how usually falls into place of itself."

This got me thinking about what I want. What do I desire? I want to be involved in peoples' healing. The verse I always come back to is Isaiah 61: 1-3

The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is on me,
because the Lord has anointed me
to preach good news to the poor.
He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted,
to proclaim freedom for the captives
and release from darkness for the prisoners,
to proclaim the year of the Lord's favor
and the day of vengeance of our God,
to comfort all who mourn,
and provide for those who grieve in Zion -
to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes,
the oil of gladness instead of mourning,
and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair.
They will be called oaks of righteousness,
a planting of the Lord for the display of his splendor.

Setting captives free. That image is so appealing to me. It doesn't matter if it's physical, emotional, financial, mental, spiritual - the idea of going from bondage to freedom excites me. I want to be involved in providing resources and a safe place for people to do that. I think about having a retreat center where counseling, bodywork and prayer can be utilized. I have no idea how, but after reading, I think it's important to just focus on the What right now.

My camera seems like it's getting old...a lot of my pictures aren't coming out clear. So I stole these pictures from Miriam's MySpace. Tues. night we went out for Marcy's going away party. We went to this place called Dick's in the Excalibar. That day, Ali told me that the staff makes fun of you, or are rude to you. It was good to know ahead of time. I picked up Suki and told her that and I think it was a good thing. We got there first but the bartenders seemed ok - they were a little smart-alec-y, but nothing bad.

GJ and Miriam
Miriam and Jeannie

It took a little while for everyone to get there, but we all were seated and here's our rude waiter

I can't even remember what provoked this, but the waiter went over to Suki and pulled his shirt over her head! Poor Suki, see how everyone is backing away?!!

While I was buying a drink for Marcy, one of the mgrs. put a sticker on my arm (it says Mon), and said that I will expire on Tues. I went along with it thinking it would be the next day, but Jeannie reminded me that it was Tues.! So we kept joking that I'd have to be thrown out at midnight.

Me and Haley

Ali, Jeannie, Suki, Tracy (we worked w/her at the Ranch) and Ali's husband James

They make hats w/crude comments

Suki and Marcy

As we were leaving Dick's (No, we're not drunk!)

At a lounge in Mandalay Bay
Dancing?Jeannie forced those guys behind them to dance w/us! Poor dudes =)
We danced until the band stopped playing

I had fun - it had been a long time since we had gone dancing. I think Suki, Ali and I are the ones who like to dance. Jeannie, Haley and GJ will dance, but not that much. And Marcy only danced because we forced her! Miriam escaped w/o ever hitting the floor...next time!

Tonight is another going away party for Alex who was an attendant. But I'm not going because we had already made plans to go out for sushi. I just can't make it to everything.

I think I'm gonna get a new camera. Nothing terribly fancy, just something w/a bigger viewing screen.

I'm including links to my Facebook photo albums...
http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=4507&l=7e6e7&id=1131366201
http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=4509&l=bf817&id=1131366201
http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=4612&l=b9c7e&id=1131366201

It was a great trip. Even though it was very busy and humid, I think everyone enjoyed themselves. It went by fast. I'm so happy that I got to go to the baths (onsen) twice!! =) I should really research what it would take to make a place like that here in Vegas. Sure we have spas, but I don't think we have any Japanese style baths.

Another thing I miss is the type of service you get in Japan. I guess compared to the US, it's so much more polite, professional and pleasant. There's a level of respect that is portrayed. Even if they don't truly feel that way, at least they act like they do. The guys on the bullet train would bow upon entering and leaving each train car. The lady in the elevator pleasantly and almost enthusiastically announced each floor and the depts. on the floor. After an hour of that, you'd think her boredom would become apparent in her voice! But no, she was pleasant the whole time.

And when we were walking up a slight incline towards the hotel in Tokyo, one of the women bell persons ran towards my nephew to take the small suitcase he was pulling behind him. I wish I got a picture of that! He was trying to tell her he could take it, but she insisted!

We did spend a lot of time using public transportation. The rail pass was totally worth it. I'm looking forward to planning another trip in the near future. Well, maybe next year or the year after. We want to take my mom to Okinawa. And I'm sure she'll like to visit Korea as well.

Last week Sunday, we had another day at the Lake LV Ritz. We had the champagne brunch...I put some berries in my glass.

Then we hung out at the pool for a bit (me and Nat)
Me, Jeannie and Katie
Me, Jeannie and Nat at the lagoon

I think I have everything I need to pack for Japan. I just need to contact a few more people, organize my contact info, go to the bank and actually pack everything into my suitcase. I'll have tomorrow morning, night and some of Tues. to get everything packed, so that's plenty of time. I'm excited about having a few weeks off from work. Tomorrow will be my last day to work before I leave on Tues. night. I drive to Colleen's in the evening. I don't want to drive during the hottest time in Vegas or the most crowded time in SoCal. so I figure if I leave around 5 or 6pm, that'll put me in OC around 9pm and that should work.

It's getting late so I should go to sleep...

After 44 years of living, you meet a lot of people along the way. I'm realizing I have met a lot of special people. People who have helped to shape my life and taught me lessons. There are over a dozen who I believe have made a significant impact upon me (besides my family). People who seem to have had specific purpose for a certain period in my life...who have shared in my "turning points". Maybe in my life for a few months, or several years, more of an acquaintance, or knit in my heart, one with very different or very similar views and beliefs. God uses all kinds of people to teach us and to move us to the places we need to be.

I've been reconnecting with others through Facebook lately. People I met years ago, but never kept in touch with. And just today, I got an email from one of my students in Japan. She was a highschool student when I met her, but now she has a fiance, lives in Tokyo and I hope I can see her when I'm there. It makes me feel like I want to be able to spend more time with everyone. I think in many ways, I give up trying to keep in touch and build relationships because it's so hard! Seems there's not enough time. I really do enjoy having friends =), but I don't live by most of them!

I was thinking about significant people in my life because I believe Suki is one of them. She was in Korea for 2 weeks and so we were emailing back and forth. As I spend time with her and get to know her, I recognize special qualities in her. One of her greatest impacts on me is how open her heart is to me and how being around her seems to be opening my own heart. I can honestly say that she is my first close friend here in Vegas...and I've been here 10 years! I've had friends to hang out with, but no one close. We may have some different views on a spiritual level, but I'm learning so much from her on an emotional level. She's more emotional and open about her feelings than I am (not a hard thing, actually!). I found myself missing her and I usually try to close myself off from those kinds of feelings. But since she always tells me how much she misses me, I guess I didn't try to suppress how I felt.

I want to be a more loving person. To be able to show others that they are valuable and loved. In my past reviews at work, I notice that one thing that seems to stand out to my supervisors is that I treat others with respect. It surprises me that people notice. I'm happy that it shows and it really does stem from the belief that we all have value in God's eyes. But I want to go a step further and treat others with love, compassion and the way Jesus would. I'm hopeful. I've learned to hide my feelings for so long, but I think God will help me to be more transparent and true.

I believe that massage is more than a luxury or relief for sore muscles. The intention of the therapist can be felt by the guest or client. It can open up healing on a deeper level. And since I want to be the best therapist possible, I want to be able to massage with the intention of love and compassion. To be sensitive to the person's needs, and not put my own agenda upon them. I think that's what makes Suki a talented therapist. Although she's only been out of school for a year, she's doing a great job.

I'm off to the gym, then I need to get some things done. I need to focus and get through a lot of stuff. Take care of returns, order oils, clean pond, driveway stains, get ready for trip, gather contact numbers, clean kitchen, forward pictures, etc. Just thinkin' outloud...

I'm hoping the next few days will be productive for me. Mom is staying downtown because she's helping w/a bowling tournament so I have the house to myself. It's a slow start so far, but I am making a dent in cleaning my room and I started on the kitchen. It should feel good, but as I start cleaning, I realize how much there is to do! I just need to push through and not be discouraged.

I'm doing laundry now and I just finished eating dinner. I made organic wheat pasta w/chicken, zucchinni and sun dried tomatoes. It was filling. I'm eating better than a year ago. I'm trying to eat more organic and less fast food. Although, I did have Taco Bell a few days ago! But I haven't gone to Starbuck's or Coffee Bean in a while - I used to go at least every week before.

Well, I want to get back to cleaning so this is a short post.

Travys, Ryan and the proud parents =). Krysta is missing since she's in Japan (a fine excuse!)

From Riverside, we went all across town to Torrance. Travys and Brandon (cousin) got there first to put in our name.
I had Won Ton Min...mmmmm!

After lunch, we went to my brother's house and Mark went straight to the massage chair
He slept while I tried to play to the GoGo's. It was my first try at Guitar Hero!

And then Susan (Mark's sister) and I played together

Then it was Colleen and Wen's turn...can you believe they're both 50 years old?!

Ryan's cake from King's Bakery =P Yummmm!

Even though we had just eaten a few hours earlier, we ate dinner! Spaghetti, lasagne, salad and garlic bread. I gained 3 pounds during that weekend! No working out plus eating like there was no tomorrow!

Last night, we had a sushi party at Jon's. It was a bit of a confusing week because it seemed liked plans kept changing or shifting around. But on Thurs., it was confirmed that we would do the party at Jon's. So Suki and I went shopping for stuff the next morning and just collected $10 from each person. We did pretty good on our budget and spent $85 for everything. I made the sushi rice and prepared the inside stuff. Suki made Tomyum (sp?) soup. Oh, the tuna we bought was sooo good! =P

Suki making nigiri sushi and me eating soup =)

Jeannie rolled her own sushi

Nat, Kerry, Miriam and Jeannie

This doubled as Kerry's going away party (sorta, cuz she said we're going out again!). Kerry, Haley eating homemade icecream, and Nat.

Jon as the satisfied customer

Aawww, Suki loves me =)

No pictures of Gil because he hijacked my camera and was taking all the pictures. It was a good thing because I was busy rolling and cutting the sushi and eating too =).

I went to Teavana today and spent $100 on tea! I never spent that much on tea before =S. But they tasted really good - I'm not really a tea drinker, but I liked those teas. After I came home, I watched gymnastics for a bit and then went to sleep.

Oh, I forgot to mention that I got a massage before the sushi party. I went to Gabriel's house and hung out a bit. I got there at 5 and left before 8. He worked on me for a little over an hour and I felt great. We caught up on eachother. His daughter was in the national Visa competition for gymnastics. He said he was going to be on TV, but I didn't see the whole thing so I didn't see him or his daughter.

He also asked about my love life and gave me advice =D. He said to surround myself with people I really like to be with and I need to put more time into finding someone. I told him that I'm not easily attracted or drawn to the people I meet and that it takes some time for me to trust others. And I guess it just hasn't been much of a priority for me. I had the same kind of conversation the same day with Suki when we were eating lunch (we had pho at her favorite place).

I told Gabriel that I would prefer being introduced to someone by one of my friends who know me and know my "type". So he said he'll keep me in mind! We're not really all that close, but I think he's a good judge of character. He knows what kind of person I am. And Suki asked me a lot of questions about what kind of men I like. For me, I think there's a difference btwn men I'm attracted to and the kind of man that would be good for me.

Gil and Jeannie taking the plunge
Kerry wearing my hat
All the estheticians were giving me grief about being so dark, so I was staying in the shade when Jeannie decided to be sneaky and take this photo when I was minding my own business and relaxing. I think she used the "It's my birthday" card a little too much that day! She basically got to do whatever she wanted - and got other people to do what she wanted!!

Fun times

Pina Coladas at the Ritz =)